You’re Allowed To Ignore Emails
I think we all eventually get to a point where we look at our calendars and to-do lists and utter to ourselves: what the fuck?
Because doing the right exercises and getting the right nutrition doesn’t matter if you don’t have the time to think about it. This is the main problem women face - with their health, with their lives - is that their time is not necessarily their own. We’re expected to give our time, give ourselves, and pay the toll.
It happens a little at a time, and then all at once. Your kid needs rides to school and practice, someone has to get the groceries, there’s a million podcasts you need to catch up on, your mother wants to know if you’re coming for Thanksgiving, and your partner needs attention. Before long, there aren’t enough hours in the day, the dishes and laundry are piling up, and on top of it all you’re supposed to get a workout in?
This might be the problem at the core of women’s health: your time is not your own. The expectations placed on women in our society ask them to be outward-facing and sociable. You need to connect with your community and your friends. You need to put your family first. It takes a village!
Ugh, whatever.
Most communities ask far more out of you than you will ever get in return. It’s about “selfless giving” that makes you feel good because you volunteered your time and energy. But is it really selfless if you don't’ ever feel like you can say “no” to something?
I think a lot of women get caught in this idea that if they are selfish with their time they are taking something away from the people they love. But consider this: the more you do for others the less they can do for themselves. It turns out: you DON’T need to solve everyone elses’s problems!
This is the weight we’re asked to carry over and over again. People ask you for help and you can’t refuse because as a woman you feel obligated to serve something larger than yourself. Their problem becomes your problem, and this is all on top of the problems you already had to deal with.
You are already carrying a lot. Just by being a human being in this world we all have a significant weight to carry. Maybe it’s time we prioritize working on our own issues before we get sucked into someone elses.
For example: you don’t need to return every call, text, or email. You don’t need to stay up to date with popular culture. You’re allowed to say “no” if someone asks for your time. Every meeting can be an email.
You don’t need another app to help you manage your time or keep all of your to-dos in order - you just need to commit to doing less. That’s right: less. A while ago I did a lot of work around the idea of “enough,” now we’re taking it further.
Do less. Carry less. Go further.